Faith for the Fight

Y’all, life is hard. Pull your hair out, screaming hard. It is not fair and flat-out body trembling scary sometimes. The external pressures we deal with can be so heavy, not to mention the pressure we put on ourselves. The “stuff” of this world is not easy. When we feel helpless, like we have nothing left to fight with, we have to fall on our faith and trust God will provide.

This last week was just that — scary and hard. Now that I feel like I can breathe a little, I wanted to give an update. Friday was supposed to be a long-overdue girls night out. Do you know the struggle it can be to coordinate 4 families schedules so mom can go to dinner?!?! Well, late afternoon rolls around and Hayes has a big seizure. Chris gets home, the nurse leaves and he has two more. Now, he has epilepsy with seizures daily, but they are focal and much smaller. (There are many types of seizures that can look different and be triggered by a variety of things. Types of Siezures) Hayes has only had 5 big episodes in his life and 3 were Friday so it was significant for him and us. So we packed everyone up to go to ER.

I want to take a second to brag on Bailey and Brenham, who were obviously different children from the previous night when sibling rivalry turned into fight club initiation — Jesus take the wheel. They were concerned but calm, helpful packing anything they thought Hayes might want or need, and even making sure I was taken care of. I am so proud of them and how they handled themselves when I was a ball of stress trying to keep my composure as my heart was beating out of my chest.

After a long night of no sleep and two room transfers, we ended up in PICU. You would think after our track record they would learn to admit him to ICU from the beginning, but nooooooo. So Hayes pulled his normal tricks and was like, only the best for me, and off to ICU we went. Is there some sort of like fast pass PICU program we can get on with a golden ticket??? Somebody help me out here!

Despite all the labs and tests, we still don’t have a definite reason for the increased seizures. So we’ve made some adjustments and I think we are heading in the right direction. Now at home focusing on good breathing, peeing, and pooping to relieve any additional stress on his body.

 

Takeaways….

1. I am WAY too old to pull all-nighters! I thought my body was going to shut down on me and they were going to find me in the fetal position under a pile of blankets in the bathroom.

 

2. These unexpected Hospital stays never get easier. The fear and anxiety of the unknown is just as real as the first time. PTSD is real. Even as I sit here writing about it one week later, my anxiety kicks in.

 

3. Being prepared for the unexpected is huge. I am so glad I have a “go bag” and process in place for when it’s time to go because your brain is already on overload. Here are some additional tips, Tips to Prepare for Hospital Life

 

4. Find your people! I am forever and always grateful for the people in our lives who are there before we even have time to ask.

 

5. God is good and will provide. Just take it step by step. Faith makes things possible, not easy, but He is right by your side. “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words”  — Romans 8:26

 

6. Let people help, ask for help. There will be a time to pay it forward, so let people help. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” — 2 Corinthians 1:4

 

The problems we encounter are real and big — and let me be clear that none of it is to be under-minded, but our God is bigger. That’s the truth we have to hold on to, the one that sets us apart as believers in Jesus, the one that helps us endure and move forward. And not just move forward, but doing so differently than the world expects us to — finding faith over fear.